The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…and you finish off as an orgasm! George Carlin (1937-2008)
She denies your interpretation of her existence.
I wish I knew your secrets. dreams would be broken into.
what do you dream about right before you fall asleep?
where do you go the moment when you wake up?
I could be your first thought. I wish that i knew all your secrets. I could creep inside the labyrinth of your inner ear. you are hopelessly…….
Today my friend sent me his journal entries, he did this in a very passive way, but I knew what he was attempting to do. And I’ve felt that way before too. They were so lonely and distressed and so truthful and intelligent and so completely absurd and so deserving of attention. But, alas, it seems like its so difficult to get the attention one wants, needs, or deserves. It also seems like one can’t get anyones attention anymore without acting frivolous or including tits and ass. so if wants to really see anything of substance you have to look in between the cracks.
An example of this is an unnamed individual, in an unnamed location, somewhere sitting at an unmarked desk, collecting his little unmarked items that will be set out for Free. I imagine him sitting at a desk right at this moment archiving. Silver Foxes 2. Why is Viagra for You?. Tantric Sex and How it can Improve your Life. Ninja Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:The Music Videos. How to Survive a Knife Fight. The Coon Hunting Championships. The list goes on. Seemingly Inconsequential. These are history. These are nothings that obsess humanity and then are subsequently forgotten. These are trash that humans discard. The mental repositories of trivial debris. These are the urban archeologist looking through the trash bins of society. They are not the moments that are collected and cherished but the experiences we hide away. Instructional videos, childrens videos, forgotten stars. They are the things we forget but keep repressed.
These are the people I’d like to remember. The people that spend hours on important nothingness importantness. Obssesively. Hoping in the back of their mind that someone might appreciate their work.
I am a collector. I love thrift store trash. I am amused by squalor and old things. I also enjoy questionably trashy movies collected by a certain individual in some video store in someplace in the universe. I am also simultaneously attracted to the sharp geometric cleanliness of Bauhaus and functionalism. However this is an excellent of example of superfluous squalor that is not without a hint of humor, that i am inclined to like. On further inspection this monolisk has no apparent purpose. The items on it are without consequence and most likely would not even excite the most diligent thrift store enthusiast. That is why I enjoy this anomaly most of all. It seems to serve the purpose of existing for the sake of existing. which is a hell of a way to live. I applaud it and its flattened tires. And i marvel in its ability to move from street to street, even with its obvious and extremely apparent disabilities. It is the best and most enjoyable antidote to functional modernity. more artistic crap. yeay. it puts a whole new perspective on reuse and recycle.
I support confrontation. I dont specifically assume that everyone should follow this state of things. But since I always seem to be attracted to repressed people it seems to work. Which brings up the question if I myself am repressed? Well I had the most interesting evening last night. I went through all the range of emotions. Which ultimately ended in my ackward. Which then led to me creating an even more ackward situation. i always seem to do that. Slightly ackward seems an unbearable state for me to be in, I always have to bleed it to its full potential. Well, maybe, not quite full. But i am the budding confrontationist. It has not been until the past few months I have begun to appreciate the idea that this trait is not entirely such a bad thing. My meta state of analysis seems to know no bounds and this constant yet happy crisis I seem to be coming up with some relatively inspiring ideas. which includes burning obelisks of the future and of the past and the content spectre of the present who prides itself on laying on tar’s warm concrete. So Ive begun to assume that if i use my confrontations for the “greater good” (oh yes all great dictators have uttered these words) then in some way it might do more good than not.
Other thoughts of today: I feel so much love today I wish I could shower him/the interminable he with kisses.
mor·ti·fy (môr
t
-f
)
v. mor·ti·fied,
mor·ti·fy·ing,
mor·ti·fies v.tr.1. To cause to experience shame, humiliation, or wounded pride; humiliate.
2. To discipline (one’s body and physical appetites) by self-denial or self-inflicted privation.
v.intr.1. To practice ascetic discipline or self-denial of the body and its appetites.
2. Pathology To undergo mortification; become gangrenous or necrosed. Today I feel like number one on the definition above.
We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them.
